People are funny about encountering matters of suffering and adversity in other people's lives. Some will shy away from any mention of it, quickly changing the subject to more mundane matters, as if fearful that even talking about it will prove to be contagious, bringing some vengeful spirit down upon their heads to heap a similar serving of adversity upon the listener. Some will grow uncomfortable, feeling helpless to say or do just the right thing to adequately express their sympathy, not realizing that all they really need to do is listen. A lot of them know someone who endured "exactly the same thing, except..." and the story soon wings away from the here and now to some often unrelated situation that doesn't really help much in the telling. A few callous sorts will hurry away at any sign of bad news because they don't want to be subjected to what they view as the hopeless drama of another's life, when they figure nothing like that will ever happen to them, when they're sure the hapless individuals involved likely brought the trouble down upon their own heads through their own acts of stupidity, carelessness or whatever. And there's the know-it-all that is only too happy to point out just exactly what acts of stupidity these individuals did to cause all this, and how they can go about making all their troubles go away, easier than reading a Dear Abby column in the newspaper. "Voila, troubles begone, nice and tidy, now let's talk about me!"
On the other hand, people are just as funny about their own suffering and adversity! Some won't whisper a word of it, as if it were all a huge, shameful secret, and will try to keep up the stoic pretense that all is well, as if there's something noble about suffering in silence if you have to suffer at all. Some will holler and shout that the whole world is to blame, everyone except themselves in every regard, and demand that somebody- maybe God or maybe the government- do something about it while they sit and wait. Many will take charge and do everything they can to set things as right as they can, often while coercing everyone around them to take the same steps to avoid their woe, while others will be immobilized by shock, fear and a loss of hope. A few will obsess about their suffering to the point that they will insist on sharing every excruciating detail of it with anyone and everyone whose attention they can snare for even a moment. There's even some who wear their suffering like a badge of honor, bragging to anyone who dares tell them of their own adversity that they've had it much, much worse than anyone else- to the nth degree worse!- an odd sort of 'one-up-manship' if I do say so.
I don't describe these types of people to mock or point fingers, mind you, because even while one finger is pointing outwards, at least three more are pointed right back at me! Yep... one or more of these scenarios has described me at one time or another. Maybe they have you, as well. Like I said, people are funny! We come with all sorts of quirks! One of the more admirable quirks is the ability to laugh at ourselves and find humor in life. But I digress...
There are much better examples to which to aspire when it comes to dealing with adversity, ours or others'. Christ, of course, is the ultimate example. I don't think many of us will ever be subjected to the degree of suffering to which He was, but there is much to be learned from Him about dealing with any degree of adversity, just the same. When it's others who are suffering, we can emulate His quiet compassion, powerful prayers of intercession, helping hands, and open arms. When we're the ones suffering, we can strive to keep the Father's will at the forefront while we submit to His plan, continue to make time to pray, reach out to other's amongst believers (as when Jesus asked some of His disciples to join Him in the garden, even if they didn't do such a good job of it), and forgive others for their hand in our suffering. I'm sure there are many other traits we can strive to carry away with us from Jesus' example. But I'm not prepared to get into an exhaustive study of that at this time, not when Jesus Himself seems to me, at least, such a lofty example to follow, when I'm but merely a fallen, totally fallible human being in, what often feels to me, a particularly broken state.
Instead, I wanted to point out the attitude seen in Paul, who delighted in his suffering while he was in prison, because, as he says in Philippians 1:12, everything that happened to him really served to advance the gospel... Wow. He was in prison, because there were Jews in Jerusalem who wanted him dead for preaching the gospel, and he had been transported to Rome to be tried before Caesar. There, he took the opportunity to preach the gospel to the prison officials, guards and other prisoners, thus extending the reach of the good news even further. Paul took lemons and made lemonade, as the popular saying goes... Now there's a do-able attitude that I can carry away with me! Instead of throwing myself pity parties over my adversities, I want to be able to find joy in suffering because I've been able to turn it around to serving God in some small but significant way. Instead of being locked in fear of further adversity, I want to be bold about doing whatever I can to advance the gospel, then seeing the suffering as proof of my effective efforts. Instead of leaving prison doors locked tight, I want to do my part to throw them wide open in every way that really counts, for everyone, for we're all suffering here.
Now... who wants to join me for a glass of lemonade? :-)
Father, thank you so much for caring about all our sorrows, and for showing us how to deal with them. Thank you for throwing open the prison doors of sin, setting us free with Your Good News! Show us how to be more compassionate towards our fellow sufferers, how to handle our own adversities with grace, and how to use all of it to advance the gospel. In Jesus' name, amen.
*The above was published in the July/August 2010 issue of The Encourager, a newsletter "written to encourage and inspire those living with chronic illnesses by guest writers and those who have learned their physical weaknesses allow God to reveal His strength and power." For more information about subscribing to the newsletter, or contributing as a writer, contact me via the comments field, and I'll give you the editor's contact info.
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