A Battle of Wills

..."Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven..." -Matthew 6:9b-10

   For a Christian, I don't think there's much in life that can be harder than to earnestly pray for God's will in all things, and to really be prepared to actually yield to His will in all things. We have a tendency to want to take control, to tell God how we think things should be, to ask that things be done OUR way, according to OUR will and desires. And that's when we're talking to him at all about what our desires are! How hard it is to trust that His plan, His way, His will is the best of all possible plans and ways, even when it may not give us what we think we want, when we want it and how we want it.

    We think to ourselves, while we're very content with life, that it's a given that we want what God wants. After all, we're deep in the midst of blessings and joy, so faith is easy then! But let anything fall apart, we often find ourselves at odds with God, wanting to know why something bad has happened or why we don't have something we very much want, and wanting it to all be fixed to our satisfaction right NOW. While we're unchallenged, we may think we'll stand strong, but it's incredibly difficult to yield to God when our happiness and the things and people that we treasure most are threatened or have been lost. Personally, one of the hardest times for me to trust in Him was when we first found out our son had something really wrong with him. Twice, I feared for his life, and twice I found the strength to give my son back to God, placing him in God's hands, even if it meant that my time with him ended up being much shorter than I wanted... That was so incredibly scary, to yield to Him like that! But doing so was the best thing I could have done, for not only did it bring me an incredible dose of peace in a very trying time, but it built up my faith to watch what God did with such a difficult situation once I stopped trying to be the one in charge. I found it helpful in such scary situations to hang onto promises like the one in Jeremiah 29:11,' "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."'

   But when things turn scary isn't the only time we can find it difficult to yield to God's will. Sometimes we don't understand it when we pray for something and we hear "no" or "not yet", especially when what we're asking for seems like a good thing that ought to be in line with His will, according to our understanding. We cannot know His plans, or what good He is going to bring about as a result of denying our requests or waiting before fulfilling them. Sometimes hind sight is 20/20 and we can see at least some of the evidence of His working it for good. Sometimes we have to settle for not knowing in this lifetime, because we can't see His work. As a person who is chronically ill, my requests for healing falls under this category. It's been a "not yet" for a very long time, and I've rebelled a few times against that, but I can honestly say that I can see a lot of His work, the way He's using it for good. He's been drawing me ever closer to Him, shaping my character through adversity, and bringing me into contact with people I never would have had contact with otherwise. Some have had a positive effect on me, and I've had a positive effect on others, and many have become cherished friends. He's also used it to shape the characters and compassion within my family, and I've even seen some remarkable wisdom emerge about trusting God's timing in even the youngest members of our family. There have been lots of silver linings to this dark cloud of illness and pain. Looking for and finding such things helps in the wait, and makes it a little easier to bear. But even when we can't see those things, we can still trust that there is something good coming from having to yield our desires to His will and timing, for Romans 8:28 tells us, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." That's a promise.

   It can be difficult to yield to Him when we learn that He wants us to do something that we're not particularly inclined to do... studying scripture and learning what it tells us is His will can present all sorts of opportunities to grow beyond our comfort zone. But obviously, when we're wanting something that we KNOW isn't in line with God's will, it's going to be difficult to yield to Him. We want what we want, and we human beings are notorious for finding every justification imaginable for going ahead and doing what we know we ought not, giving in to temptation. It can be a real struggle for Christians, being torn between satisfying our own desires and following God. Even Paul found this difficult, saying, "For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing." Romans 7:19 We're still sinners, even after we've accepted Christ's gift of salvation. But we have a secret weapon... a direct connection to God. "Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak." - Matthew 26:41 This verse comes from the passage telling about Jesus' time in the Garden of Gethsemane, when he asked three of his disciples, including Peter, to keep watch, but they kept falling asleep, and my NIV Life Application Study Bible has this to say about the verse: "Jesus used Peter's drowsiness to warn him about the kinds of temptation he would soon face. The way to overcome temptation is to keep watch and pray. Watching means being aware of the possibilities of temptation, sensitive to the subtleties, and spiritually equipped to fight it. Because temptation strikes where we are most vulnerable, we can't resist it alone. Prayer is essential because God's strength can shore up our defenses and defeat Satan's power." First we have to be honest with ourselves about our weaknesses, then we have to be willing to ask God to help us, even when we're not sure we really want that help, because the temptation is just so... well... tempting! That's hard. REALLY hard. But it's also very liberating, because who really wants to be controlled by sin? Who really wants to keep settling for less than God's very best blessings? How much better to be denied what we think we want, at least for now and in this wrong way, then to be rewarded in His timing with something so much more than what we could have ever asked? I've been faced with many temptations. Some I avoided pretty easily. Some I wavered. And with some, I fell. We all do. Nothing for it but to pick ourselves back up, repent, suffer the consequences, and move on, learning from our mistakes.

   But this I know beyond any shadow of doubt... While asserting my own will without regard to God's will has often led me to have regrets later,  I have never regretted yielding to God's will. His way has always led to more satisfaction, more blessings, more growth, more faith-building and amazing evidence of His active work in my life, more peace, more everything. I keep reminding myself of this every time I find myself wanting to resist His will.

Father, thank you for always answering our prayers when we sincerely ask that Your will be done! Help us to always trust in Your infinite wisdom and love, especially when it seems that we want something different from what You want for us. Thank you for rewarding our every effort to yield to You, blessing us with help, peace, understanding and more than we could ever ask. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.